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Staying isn’t passive. It isn’t surrender. It isn’t resignation dressed up as loyalty. Staying is a choice, and sometimes it’s the harder one. People like to romanticize leaving. They love a clean break, a dramatic exit, a fresh start wrapped in a bow. But no one
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There’s this moment when a platform crosses a line. You feel it the second it happens. Something that used to feel clean starts… buzzing. Like someone plugged a cheap neon sign into the corner of the room. And suddenly you realize: You’re not a user anymore. You’re
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There are losses that don’t register as loss at first. No dramatic ending, no conflict, no clean line dividing before and after. Just a small shift in the architecture of your day. Something that once held weight slips out of place, and only then do you feel how much
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I spent a long time trying to understand why someone’s presence hit me so hard. I kept circling it, as if there had to be a deeper meaning. A message. A spark. A lesson. Something. I thought I had complicated feelings about them. Turns out I just had complicated
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A friend and I were talking about how we spent Thanksgiving. They spent the day cooking with their dad: two different kinds of potatoes and three different kinds of dressing. Three. The kind of detail that shouldn’t matter, but somehow it landed like a reminder of the life I
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A three-part reckoning
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Someone dropped a Jean-Paul Sartre quote on my feed: “We are our choices.” It almost tripped me up. Almost. Because on the surface, it sounds empowering. There’s a seductive logic to it. You’re the architect of your life. You choose your path. You’re not shaped by circumstances,
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Most of the bags you’ve been carrying didn’t come with handles. They came with a story. “I’m the only one who can handle this.” “If I don’t help, I’m a bad person.” “They need me more than I need boundaries.” These aren’t facts. They’
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When you stop hauling other people’s bags, you get something back: time, energy, space in your head. The question is—what do you do with it? Because if you don’t claim that space for yourself, someone else will. Here’s what reclaiming looks like in practice: * Pick up
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Sorting and dropping is mental. But your body still remembers. If you don’t give it somewhere to go, the stress sits there like bad leftovers. You’re not “fine.” You’re marinating in cortisol. What I’m learning now is to give my body an exit route. It doesn’
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Sorting was the easy part. The hard part is actually setting something down and not apologizing for the sound it makes when it hits the floor. That’s the piece I’m still wrestling with. I’ve spent most of my life softening boundaries with guilt: “Sorry, I just can’
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Let’s not pretend. Most of us are out here hauling around other people’s emotional garbage like it’s our job—and it’s not even the one we get paid for. So in the spirit of chronic over-functioning, spiritual back pain, and one more person “just venting” at